The journey started with a diary entry at Dubai airport. I was on my way to London.



I will never forget sitting on a carpet with other travellers, waiting for my adventure to start. I desperately wanted the plane to take me away from a life of brokenness and hurt. Strangely enough, I had no fear, no doubt. I  knew I had to make a change. God needed time to rebuild me, to clean my heart from past experiences and unwise decisions.  I still remember the sense of peace I felt the moment I wrote in my diary, "God I give you my all, take away and add and let me become who I am meant to be. I give you my life." It was me and God. It was our time. God announced a season of change, but never did I imagine my journey to be so amazingly strategic in the wonderful city of London, the city where healing flows.

I first arrived at the doorstep of my aunt in a small town called Bangor, Wales. It was a safe haven where I was introduced to the delicacies of the UK - the tea and the weather. This was a special time in my life. God had to bring me back to the Word, and for three months I studied the Bible while looking for a job. It was critical for me to rebuild my foundation on the Word, and I had to do it in a peaceful and godly environment. A part of me wanted to discover God afresh, but I was also in the UK for an adventure. I didn't have a lot of time though. According to my working holiday visa I could only work for one year. The plan was to make money and go back to South Africa. But I quickly realised that God had other plans for me when my uncle gave me James 4:13: Come now, you who say: Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, spend a year there, buy and sell and make a profit, whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow....." God had other plans. He had an adventure in store that would change my life forever.

When I finally arrived in London I was overwhelmed by the size and busyness of the city. It was a city unlike anything I've ever seen or experienced. There was an excitement and buzz everywhere I went. I didn't feel scared, even though I was alone without a job or money. The next couple of months I felt like a gypsy moving from house to house, interview to interview, temporary job to temporary job. I worked in the most unusual places, met the most interesting people, yet I struggled to settle down. London was not an easy city to make a home. The pressure of having to survive in a cut throat environment was extremely difficult yet unbelievably liberating. I had nothing, nowhere to go and no support, except God. I wanted to fight, freak out, rebel but instead I found myself humbled and desperate for the presence of God. I had countless nights of prayer - seeking, asking and knocking. God used it to soften my heart. The ground for the seeds of truth was hard and it needed tilting and my faith needed to be sharpened again. I needed to trust God with everything again.



During this desert time God gave me my greatest gift. I wasn't prepared for it, but you don't always have to be perfect to receive from God - you only have to be open and willing to follow Jesus. I met my husband. It wasn't glamorous at first, I had nothing to offer. God wanted to get rid of all the rubbish inside of me, the false fantasies and unrealistic expectations. So when I met my husband I had one pair of shoes, one pair of Jeans and many questions. Our one year friendship started off on nothing except our love for God. I did not expect my love story to start off the way it did. I was one of those who waited for the perfect moment, the perfect haircut, the perfect setting and the perfect thing to say. But God chose me to discover His perfection in my imperfection. He wanted me to understand grace, a grace that gives when you least expect it, and blesses when you don't deserve it. At the time He gave me a loyal friend, my best friend for life, my husband. I didn't know it at first, and it took a while for my heart to trust again, but God used my husband to help me make wise decisions and to position myself in such a way that I could operate under the laws of the Kingdom.

Positioning was always a difficult concept for me. I mostly made decisions to please others. The whole world (according to me) had to be saved and it didn't matter where I found myself - even if it was to difficult for me to handle. Deep down I knew I had to renew my mind about the value God placed on me, because from the choices I made it was evident that I had no revelation. It was during this time that the breakthrough came. I finally got a permanent job, at that stage a "small beginnings" job, but it was a job. God blessed me with a 5 year work permit which was unheard of, so I knew God wanted me to stay in London for longer. I moved in to a house with great friends and started planting myself in an amazing church.  I wanted to make decisions that positioned myself in a healthy environment where I could grow and receive from God. God is  faithful. He will always open doors for us to position ourselves in a place where we can prosper, but I had to first allow the truth to sink deep into my spirit. God saw me as valuable, and didn't want me to think less of myself.

He confirmed my value through divine appointments with people. God anointed them to spiritually guide me through a maze of confusion. Unforgiveness and hurt dominated all my choices, and left me dis-empowered to function normally. He gave me godly friends who only wanted to love me. They didn't try to change me but accepted me. At that time of my life I needed unconditional love desperately, and God provided me with a community of believers who spoke to the queen inside, and not the fool. I also started actively confronting unforgiveness in my life. It was one of the most difficult journeys I had to do. I had to break the lies the enemy tried to keep me in bondage with. A wave of emotions flooded my heart every week, and cleansed me of things that I didn't have courage to face in the past. Faith cannot operate where unforgiveness thrives. Love cannot be powerful where bitterness occupies your heart.

The moment my heart could love again completely, I felt the Spirit of God accelerating my life to go from glory to glory! The blessing of the Lord started overtaking me. I got married, started prospering in my job, approached relationships in a new and healthy way that established life long friendships. God blessed me with good gifts, and I started overflowing with the favour of the Lord. Life giving revelations entered my heart and changed my life forever. Adventurers were abundant. God satisfied my life with good things.

My prayer was answered. God restored my life in the city of London and I will always treasure the moments I had with Him. The season was fruitful and exciting, which makes it difficult to leave. But I am ready again to wait at the airport for the plane to come....and once again I will  write in my diary: ""God I give you my all,  take away and add....and let me become who I am meant to be....I give you my life."

His love never fails, never runs out, never gives up on me!

I serve a loving, faithful and gracious God.....a God of amazing journeys!

Thanks London......I will miss the city....I will miss the people!

Denial is not a river in Egypt.

Our season in the UK is almost finished.



I have to constantly remind myself of this fact. Even though it's a couple of days before I board the plane, I haven't start packing. Everything is still the same....the house is still untouched.

We still invite people, do the washing, water the plants...nothing has changed....except...our season.


Change is the only constant thing

Some still try to proof this statement wrong. They struggle to risk and prefer  a structured, organised and predictable life. Others embrace it and become addicted to change. They frequently change their surroundings, jobs, countries, clothes, restaurants and even friends. Change becomes their comfort zone.

But even though you try to plan your life in advance so that change will not sneak up on you and catch you off guard, the nature of change still remains the same. When it occurs it leaves you curious as well as uncertain. You look forward to what it may bring yet your heart struggles to let go of what you have. You become focussed on trying to manage the unknown, even though change always leads you to an unexpected destination.Sometimes change causes mixed emotions to surface and creates tension within. Things might not turn out the way you expected. You might have to clear out rooms in your heart that you grew accustomed to. Some might have to say good bye unexpectedly without having sufficient time to process the fact that change already happened.

Change is the only constant thing.

I love change, even though it is sometimes difficult. I've realised that it is very easy to look forward to change when you didn't enjoy the season you were in. Yet, change becomes an unwelcome friend when you flourished in the season you were in.

And for me this is the difficult part of change....changing when you don't want to.

God is in the business of change. He is so creative, so great, so immeasurably omnipotent and outrageously good. He is the Creator of all things, the protector of every living being and the author of change. He gave seasons as an expression of His creativity so that we can enjoy all elements of His extraordinary love.

Change is a gift from God. 

Even when change is unexpected or unwanted, it still enriches your Spirit. It helps you to look deeper within, and forces you to reach out to God. Change makes life exciting and new and helps us to remember that we are not in control, and that we don't have to be.....because God is.

God is constant in the midst of change.

His love never changes, His character stays the same. He is still the God of the impossible, the God of wisdom and understanding that will never leave us and will lead us through dark times, the One that will be our shoulder to cry on, the one that will carry us through desert times. He will dance with us, celebrate with us, promote us and lead us into victory.....and this will never change.

And through the seasons of change our eternal purpose remains steadfast in Him and can we throw away the old, latch our hearts to God, and open the gift of change.

Let the packing begin!

Eccl 3:1, 6
To everything there is a season, and a time for every matter or purpose under the sun. A time to get and a time to loose, a time to keep and a time to cast away.