It was an unforgettable day – the day I was introduced to Abigail.  I was a still a teen when I heard her name for the first time.  Everywhere I went, people (especially older women) talked about her. It seemed she left an impression on many - including me.  Rarely do you come across someone that shapes the way you think - that mentors, aggravates and challenges you so much that you are forced to go back to the mirror and deal with the truth. In many ways Abigail became my role-model. She gave me the inspiration I needed to mature in God as I approached adulthood. 

But Abigail was not perfect. Oddly, those who spoke about her never mentioned the fact that she was married to an unbeliever. Even more surprising was the fact she was only a house-wife. Initially I was very disappointed when I discovered all these things about Abigail. Don’t ask me why. Maybe it is because I expected a strong and dynamic woman, with credentials to back the admirable stories I heard from the people I respected. Yet, she managed to leave a lasting impression on my life. I will forever be grateful to God that He predestined our paths to meet.

Abigail’s daily existence was far from ideal. The beauty that magnetized those who came in contact with her, was point blanked ignored by her husband.  She served, cleaned and cooked for him every day without complaining. His demands added more to her list of responsibilities, which kept her working until the early hours of the morning.  He bad-mouthed her, treated her with contempt – cursing her every chance he got. As his drinking increased, his patience became less and less. All that mattered was the parties he organised as an excuse to fill the emptiness of his soul with alcohol. The community labelled him as foolish and wanted nothing to do with him.

Abigail’s friends thought she was stupid to stay with him. To be honest, I was inclined to agree with them. It didn’t make sense to me that an attractive, intelligent woman wasted her life on a man that didn’t really see her worth. It is still puzzling to me.

But Abigail shone like a diamond in the heart of her house. She was always aware of what was going on around her. Often times she defended her husband’s name when others ridiculed him, even though she knew he was a scoundrel. It didn’t make sense to me, because her husband was well-deserving of the treatment he received.  He was an arrogant and prideful man who didn’t care about anyone except himself. Most of the time he wasn’t even aware of what she was doing to protect her house from calamity.

Make no mistake, Abigail was not a doormat. When she opened her mouth it was with wisdom. She summarized situations and managed to put fires out with her spirit of meekness and peace. She gave solutions, made people feel valued and respected, whilst at the same time providing them with alternatives to the way they wanted to “deal” with her husband. Many times she had to show nerves of steel and not shy away from confrontation.  She had full control of her emotions and always ensured that situations didn’t escalate out of control. Her heart was to honour the people and things she valued. And she did it with a streak of intelligence. Wow, she was truly a woman of wisdom.

You might read this blog posting and think – seriously Laetitia, why are you writing about this woman? What inspires you about her? Her life seems miles away from what God has intended for her. And to some extent I agree with you.  But every time I think about her, I can’t help but be in awe.

Abigail’s story still to this day inspires me because of her boldness and self-assurance. Through all the pain and heartache she endured, she managed to keep herself. She had confidence in her opinions and her actions even though her husband brought her shame.  She was treated like a slave in the flesh, yet she conducted herself like a queen, not scared to speak to influential figures. In her heart she carried a revelation of how to access God’s Kingdom in all circumstances. And because of that, just like Matthew 5 says, she was blessed and highly favoured.  She valued the things Jesus valued, even though it seemed like foolishness to her husband, who daily persecuted her for her faith. When she spoke, she spoke with authority and power, always steering people in the direction of godliness. And wow…the way she said things were so funny and clever!

Abigail’s suffering ended with her first husband dying of a heart attack. God was gracious to her. She met her second husband who fell madly in love with her in a whirlwind romance, and he was a special man after God's own heart.  

You can read about how she met her second husband in 1 Sam 25.

No matter your story, no matter your choices – God still has a plan and purpose for your life.