My Facebook page is full of baby announcements, baby scans, baby bumps, baby names and baby pictures. My sister and some of my friends are approaching the season of parenthood. 

Every day I get an update on one of the 20 million things that happens in the first year of being a mother. Today “so and so” gave her first smile. A few months later “so and so” gave her first step and a few months later “so and so” held her baby brother for the first time.  Exciting, exhilarating, and not my season... YET.

But it made me think about parenthood. One day I will have the privilege to teach my children godly principles, experiential knowledge and life lessons. While I was thinking about the daunting task that lies ahead, I somehow started thinking about the one characteristic I would like my children to have. Yes, it seems crazy, but it’s definitely worth thinking about. I realised that my conclusion would be a lifelong endeavour, a testing challenge that would take a lot of grace and patience, but it is something I think each child should have – CONFIDENCE.

If I should ask any woman today: “Are you confident?” the answer might be frighteningly shocking. Some women won’t even go down that line of thought and would scorn me for asking such an arrogant question. Others would shrug their shoulders and answer with an insecure voice: “I don’t know,” while others would take a long time to think about it and then end up asking:”Define confidence?”

Confidence is difficult to define. Some women usually find their confidence in what people think or say about them. Others find their confidence in their looks, style, occupation, income, spiritual position in the church and even their issues.  Then there are those who find their confidence in the way they talk, the way they present themselves, the way they come up with solutions and even their age. Most would argue that a 50 year old is much more confident than a 20 year old....or so it seems.

But in order for me to have a clear roadmap in teaching my future children confidence, I need to be able to recognise it.  Even though confidence is difficult to define, it’s not difficult to see. Personally, I recognise it by the reaction of someone when faced with a difficult situation. Normally confident people have a strong sense of direction, an accurate picture of who they are. They do not stand back for challenges, but embark on a journey of self-discovery. When a confident person talks, the conversation carries weight and insight. There is authority accompanied with strong boundaries. Most confident people know what they will and won’t allow– they know their worth. They understand life, understand the way things work and will daily add knowledge to their existent ways of thinking. They don’t shy away from confrontation or from being reprimanded, but will use it as a tool to grow. They also know how to deal with difficult people in a calm and peaceful manner.

The challenge for me is to grow as a woman of confidence, so that my children can one day use it as an example to make their own decisions. Confidence creates security and a safe place for children.

Prov 14:26 says: The Fear of God builds up confidence, and makes a world safe for your children.

When I refer to confidence, I am not writing about SELF-CONFIDENCE. There are a lot of women in the world who has a self-confidence, yet struggle to cope with life. Some had all the backing, the money, the fame, the looks, the courage to speak - everything - and they were very confident, until a husband, or movie director, or boss told them that they were no longer in need of the “self.” Then there are those women who don’t think that their “true self” is worth revealing to others. They become grasshopper, “sorry I live” women without a voice – ready to be rejected and criticised, always enslaved by people’s opinions. The “self” will always be depended on what people think or say.

If I had to build my confidence on my performances, my achievements and what people think and say about me I will never have the guts to pursue the purposes of God, whether it is to be a parent or disciple-maker. No, when I gave my life to God – the “self” died – and it is no longer I who lives, but Christ who lives in me. So what confidence am I referring to?

1 Cor 10:12 says ....Don't be so naive and self-confident. You are not exempt. You could fall flat on your face as easily as anyone else. Forget about self-confidence, it's useless. Cultivate God-confidence

Yes....God wants us to cultivate God- confidence!

To cultivate God-confidence is not always an easy process. To grow, to pursue and to seek after God's ways of doing things sometimes take discipline, endurance and a lot of testing. When I was looking up a synonym for cultivate the word ploughing appeared. Throughout my Christian walk I can identify with the word ploughing. Sometimes it was (and still is) difficult for me to cultivate the spiritual giftings in my life. There were many times where I stepped out on the rim to speak a prophetic word, just to be reprimanded afterwards. The ground had to be softened and the seed had to be ploughed into my life. The seed of spiritual giftings were sowed into the ground, just to be covered with dirt again. Other times I would think I am walking in the ways of the Lord, or hearing His voice, just to be corrected by someone with greater biblical wisdom. Other times I would sit in a business meeting, being convinced of a Kingdom way of approaching certain situations – just to be quieted and put back in my place again.  Yes, to cultivate godly-confidence is a process – with a lot of lessons, and sometimes not without mistakes!

Godly confidence is to get to know God's ways, God’s voice and God’s presence! It is to seek after, enquire, pursue and long for His correction, leadership and wisdom in your life. It is to fear God – choose Him always and to take the courage to sometimes step out of your comfort zone so that God can train you to be useful for His Kingdom. It is not to speak on your own authority, but on the authority of the Word. God-confidence means to be God-pleasing and not people-pleasing. It is to define yourself according to mirror of the Word, and to conform your thinking accordingly. It is to repent, to step up, forgive, to let go and to continuously grow in your understanding of the Cross.

Yes....God-confidence is God’s confidence in you, manifesting in the world so that the authority of Christ can be displayed!

Therefore, we do not seek after what the world seeks after....no...we seek after God! When God infuses you with His confidence a shy woman becomes bold – a timid woman becomes brave and a fear-driven woman becomes a faith giant!

The next generation needs an example of women with God-confidence!

My children will one day (with the help of God) know the value of God-confidence!

And just like I want to instill God’s confidence in my future daughter’s life, God wants to instil His confidence in my life!