My new year's resolution for 2013!
Spread the Fragrance

I always said I'm not a morning person.
Some women like to wake up early to watch a beautiful sunrise, and appreciate the magnificent artistic display of God’s handiwork; I am not one of them. 
I like to sleep.

Others like jogging in the early hours of the morning, with the cold wind gently brushing against their skin while fresh air fills their lungs; unfortunately I am not one of them. 

 
I like a warm, comfortable duvet wrapped around me while I sneak in a few extra hours before I HAVE to go to work.
Some even appreciate the sounds of happy birds chirping, welcoming them to an exciting new day; Again I'm not one of them.
The only sound I like is the silence after I’ve pressed the snooze button.

So, when I woke up at 5h30 the other day, for the first time in 10 years, to go to gym, I literally felt sick. I struggled through rowing, steps and the circuit with nausea telling me I am crazy, and a throbbing headache almost knocking me out. I couldn’t give my all. I had no energy, no fighting spirit and no desire to compete against the “eager gym bunnies.”

I missed my bed.

I missed my old habits.

So much so, that I was angry with everyone. I was angry with the gym for opening so early, I was angry with the receptionist for not greeting me properly, with all the “morning people” laughing hysterically at 6h00 am in the morning. I mean, really…..what has the world come to? I was angry with myself, allowing “the lack of time” to force me to make decisions I didn’t like, and most of all, I was angry, because my days of sleeping late were counted. I might never get them back!

It took me almost 2 weeks to rid myself from a sense of entitlement, and to change my mind about waking up when it’s still dark. I was grumpy most of time, not wanting to change the way I do things. Even though it was a very good idea to move our exercising regime to the mornings, I still wanted my sleep. It’s almost as if the need for sleep had power over me.
Unfortunately, this is not my first encounter with these powerful feelings that war against my good intentions - the rebellious, lazy and undisciplined habits that cast a spell over me every time I decide to make a healthy decision in my life.

 Oh no, on the contrary, I am well acquainted with the inner battle of good versus evil tugging at my heart strings.
So in the past, when I realised another year was around the corner, I got out a pen and paper and wrote down a  wish list of a better Laetitia, to rid myself from anything that is counter-productive, bad, unhealthy and wrong.

How many times in the past did I not write on my new year’s resolution list to:

·         Read more Bible

·         Pray more

·         Be more patient

·         Appreciate the people I love more

·         Manage my time better

·         Be more creative

But then I catch myself in February, giving into the power of TV, sleepiness, anger and impatience. And it continues up to December J
So with the new year around the corner, I almost felt depressed and disheartened. Should I write a list down again? Should I attempt improving myself again?

Can I achieve my new year's resolutions or is it just ideologies on a piece of paper?

 It gave me such a brain freeze just thinking about these questions that I decided to ignore 2013. I did not care if the dates changed!

 Luckily God knew that I couldn't live in denial forever. One day I stumbled on this verse in the Bible.

Col 3: 5

So kill (deaden, deprive from power) the evil desire lurking (those impulses’ and all that is earthly in you that is employed in sin)……., for you have stripped off the old (unregenerate) self with its evil practice.

 I read it and re-read it until I came across these words...deprive from power. 


 Wow, I can deprive the evil desires within me from power.

 I can withdraw, deny and take away any form of power that the old self can have over me.

This is profound.

As a woman of God I have the choice, the mandate, to daily decide against those impulses, those earthly sinful thoughts and actions that can sometimes cause confusion in my life. No, I can decide to deprive all the negative thoughts, all the depressing assumptions I make about life, all my ungodly and selfish actions from the influence and control it has over me, so that it won’t have a hold on me. I can daily strip myself from the unchanging self, the self that doesn’t want to be renewed and revived according to the Word and put on the characteristics of a new creation. I can choose!

 I can deprive the need to over-eat, to make wrong relationship decisions and to not want to go to church from power. Instead I can make healthy decisions that will lead to a full life.

 Yes, I have the authority to make decisions that will accomplish my new year's resolution list!

This revelation inspired me so much that I decided to approach  my new year's resolutions differently this year. I will still write a list, but it will look as follows:

2013 New Year's Resolution List:

·         I will deprive my lazy old self from the power it had over me, and read my Bible every chance I get

·         I will deprive my sleepy old self from the power it had over me, and pray more effectively and fervently instead of falling asleep after the second word.

·         I will continue to live healthy by going to gym, and deprive the old, undisciplined self from power

·         I will deprive the old angry self from power, and love people more passionately with  simple acts of service

I will confront the old self – I will stare her right and in the face and say: No more!

I am a new creation, the old has died. I have all things that pertains to godliness….and I have the power to overcome the old!

And just like I will say good-bye to the old 2012, so I will say good bye to the old, destructive self….and just like I will say hello to the new 2013, so I will say hello to the new, overcoming and victorious Laetitia!

Bring on the new year!

4 comments | | edit post