Fairy-tales are hard to find, especially in today’s disapproving and looks-driven society. These days, the Snow White notion of a woman patiently waiting for her prince gets replaced with a perfect wedding day and a divorce 5 years later.  So when you see couples in love, enjoying one another and still laughing together after twenty years of ups and downs, you sometimes wonder: How did they manage to stay HAPPY ever after?  What is their secret to marital bliss?  It’s as if we expect for reality to kick in at some point, for couples to get disillusioned and for the love-story to end in tears.

  

So this month I’m writing about married life again – the sequel to Unconventional Marriage advice 1. (Whoop whoop!)

George and I celebrated our fourth wedding anniversary last month, and even though it’s still far from the 10 year, 20 year or 50 year mark, I couldn’t help but feel relieved that we are still going strong.  I was humbled by the fact that even though I don’t really know any secrets to marriage success and can’t really offer any decent advice, that we still have the privilege to live the fairy-tale that God has planned for us. To be honest, I am still in awe of God’s design for marriage. It is far more beautiful than the “flat coke” rom-coms or Danielle Steel novels we are used to. To me, marriage is God’s love-story for my life – and He is a very good Author.  It is indeed a God-idea worthy of my respect.

But marriage is also about the daily adventures a couple endure together. It is not just candlelight dinners and evenings out in the town. Nope. Contrary to what others might say, most of a marriage-story actually happens at home, just before the budget meeting, after you've unloaded the grocery bags J

So, let me share some stories from our fairy-tale called: "Kings in the Kitchen." :)

MAX-simise family time

George came home one evening and unexpectedly announced that he wanted to get a dog. I laughed it off and thought he was pulling my leg. He obviously didn't know me. There was a reason why I didn't strike people as the dog-loving type.  I didn’t like animals at all! The thought of getting a pet never crossed my mind before. Ever! Movies like “Marley and Me” left me exhausted afterwards. I couldn’t understand why people would willingly put themselves through so much admin.  But George looked at me with determined eyes: “ Laetitia,” he said with a serious tone, “ I see in you the potential to love animals. You  are going to love having a dog. And I think God wants to bless us with a Bassett” (ha ha ha!)

It took me three weeks to get back to him, because I had to thoroughly consider the pros and cons of his ridiculous idea, and measure my level of commitment for the unforeseen journey my husband wanted to take us on. But at the end, George’s persuasive sales pitch convinced me to allow a Bassett called Max (Maximus Maximillian)  into my clean house.

Max is a very emotional, needy and naughty little Bassett with charisma, a sense of humor and a HUGE CUTENESS factor. With his droopy eyes and unconditional love, he can get away with anything. Numerous times I had to pick up wool scattered across the garden, after he almost destroyed the pillows he slept on or chase him around the house trying to get one of my favourite shoes out of his mouth. Everything changed when Max arrived. We literally had to make room for him in our lives.

Nevertheless, Max transformed our family times. George was right, this little Bassett turned out to be an enormous blessing.  Nothing beats a movie night with Max quietly tugged away at our feet, content with the world and happy to be part of our lives. He even enjoys dancing with me while I prepare dinner - and George and I always have fun discussing new ways to get him to listen to us (which rarely works). But in all of this I learned something about marriage. Max helped me to see that family time is worth celebrating (and worth planning for).  It’s part of making our love-story extra special.

Soon after Max invaded our lives we’ve realised that it would never be the same again. In order for us to have a peaceful night’s rest, we had to give him what he wanted.  And there is only one thing Max wants – FAMILY TIME! So now I plan dinners, I schedule something fun to do and I always have extra food in the cupboards, in case the two males in my house get hungry.

Our lives will never be the same. I’ve realised it the other day, after Max kept us awake throughout the night because it was raining and he didn’t want to sleep in his kennel.  George and I were both tired – we had just endured a frustrating evening together trying to get the dog to sleep (yes..yes...I know, it sounds a bit weird). But the next day George couldn’t help but send me a text: “Laetitia I love you and I love Max.” Even though I was agitated with the fact that we had a dog, and that we chose to have a pet that kept us awake, I had to agree with George. Max crept into my heart.  I am now a converted dog-lover!

How can I not be?

Our Bassett taught me to MAX –imise family time!

 ADD to the Ad….venture and SURPRIZE!

There is nothing more frustrating than to start a book with an interesting first chapter , just to later discover that it has no storyline. A story needs to be full of intrigue and adventure, keeping you on the edge of your seat.  Usually the damsel in distress keeps her hero captivated in a best-seller love-story. So who says your love-story should end after the wedding day? It is only chapter 1. The plot should only thicken!

I believe a woman can approach marriage from two perspectives. 1). I have a husband so I’ve arrived. He knows everything about me. 2). I have a husband and he knows everything about me….so I better come up with a few surprises to keep our love-story interesting.

My opinion is that every woman should add to the adventure of marriage, by keeping her mystery and surprising her husband. Yes, a married woman can still be mysterious. The element of surprise is a powerful tool in marriage. And no, I'm not referring to surprising your husband with another positive pregnancy test, even though that can also be very powerful. :) Nope, you are the main character of a love-story, so you determine how interesting you want married life to be.

Like I said, I am no expert when it comes to the recipe for a successful marriage, but I try to stay open for something wonderful to unfold. It's  is not always easy to keep the mystery - sometimes you have to re-invent yourself, and that usually takes sacrifice. God highlighted this fact to me one day, while I was driving to the store. He challenged my thinking. It was no secret that:

I don't like hiking
I don't like cooking
I don't like the sea

But that day it dawned on me….George knows I don’t like these things. Imagine how surprised he will be if:

God loves marriage. I think He designed it so that we can have more fun! So, if the washing heap reaches the roof and the dishes are dirty in the sink, remember….it is part of your love-story, so keep the mystery.

ADD to the adventure and SURPRISE your Prince!

Snow White ends with "and they lived happily ever after."

Your fairy-tale should end the same way. :)