Laska's Project Courage
Laska Weppenaar is one of the most courageous women I know. Her story is a faith battle...with highs and lows...up and downs! But she stays committed to her walk with God....through very challenging circumstances. Christ lives within her. Most would most probably desert God when faced with these circumstances ....some desert God even without a reason. But Laska fights....and will keep on fighting....the battle is not finished....but small victories are in sight!
Her story
What gives you confidence, makes you who you are?
Jer 29:11 For I know the thoughts and plans that I have for you, says the Lord, thoughts and plans for welfare and peace and not for evil, to give you hope in your final outcome.
Are you good at your
work, do you have great relationships, are you on the top of your game in
sports, are you known for certain characteristics to advance you in life, do
you have a good inheritance? The list can go on ...
We tend to find our
identity in what we do and what we are good at and that usually results in
confidence in life. Brainteaser: what if you think that all you “know” you
which think defines you, are taken away from you, who do you think you will be then?
This happened to me!
I had the usual plans with my life nicely mapped out and defining
myself in the things I was good at. Till one day. Sitting in the neurologist
rooms I was told I have Multiple Sclerosis (MS), there is no cure and reason
why I got it. It felt like a nightmare. And: I had to be taken up in the
hospital for 5 days for treatment, immediately. My first reaction was “What? In
my whole life I’ve never been in hospital”. As if in a hazy dream I go home to
share the news still not realizing that those two words are about to turn my
world upside down!
I was admitted to
hospital six times that year, I’ll spare you the gritty details. At first I was
astonished, “How can I, a servant and child of God get this?” Then the anger:
“How could God do this to me? I have served him all my life.” A lot of emotions
had to be worked through and I am at still working through some.
I came to the
revelation that this is the day I was preparing myself for. What good is your
faith if it is never tested? How do you grow as a person? All my home cell
groups, church and bible school knowledge came flooding back to me. And for the
first time I realized why I had to learn all those principles, it was as if God
had pushed down faith and its accompanying tools in my heart for the last
26years so that I can fight this battle.
The disease stole
so much from me, I couldn’t remember who I was then and who I am now, me has
been taken from me. With time I realized that my identity lies in God. He is my
purpose and that having faith or being a servant of God is not just about fluffy
feel good stuff. I had to now draw my strength from the God I served, use the
tools I gained and really step out in faith.
I reached a point
where I realized it is not “things” that make up my identity but God. I believe
in divine healing but I am not going to sit on my porch doing nothing and
waiting for it. I have learned it’s not up to how many prayers and church
meetings I attend that will decide how and when God will heal me, but realising
God is God and He can do a miracle anywhere, anytime, and of any magnitude. The
Scripture: Phil 4:11; Ps 73 I
have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get
along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity;
As
if having MS wasn’t enough, I had to go through chemotherapy which was hectic!
I felt so alone. Just me and God and my appointment every 3 months for my next
infusion. I was beyond scared and clung to God, but I never showed my fear to my
loved ones. I would recite this scripture over and over again, I wrote it on a
piece of paper and stuck it on my bed at home and on the hospital bed. Looking back I have no idea how I got through chemotherapy
and cortisone treatment, God must have carried me through it. 2 Cor 12:9 But he said to me,
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in
weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses,
so that Christ's power may rest on me.
God also taught me that there is a time for everything: I always felt the need to do something for God. He gave me peace and understanding that there is a season for everything, a time for work, a time for harvesting and now is the time to chill out and rest - to look after my body. Eccl 3:1 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven. My faith, compassion and empathy have changed a lot. If it's a possible I help carry some of the burdens of other weary MS persons, I always try and encourage. Because of my experience with MS I can relate to things they are going through, my heart can touch theirs.
Interesting: I feel that my faith has evolved a lot and most people I've met always say there is something different about me, some light in me that cannot be put out. I think they see God. God doesn't judge or put people in boxes, it's not as if I am preachy or anything but I am sure they can feel and see God. I think like a moth is drawn to the flame so are the people that come across my life. You see, I've felt like giving up so many times but I have never put that message across. I seek God and get to a place of strength and faith and only then will I approach people. It is my own battle and everyone has battles in their lives to fight. Mine just has name - MS! But is that not why we believe and serve God in the good and the bad times? Having MS is a very humbling disease and if someone says " I'm lucky" I say no it's God's grace. When you live with MS you are grateful for so much that everyday becomes a miracle. Even simple things like climbing a step. In the end it is how we respond to difficult situations in our life, God has given us the privilege of choice and the wisdom to ask for wisdom if you are not sure. I might never know why I have MS but God defines me and I am enough!
Is 55:8-9 (NIV) My journey is not over yet and I am still learning to put things I have learned in God to use those tools. Learning and growing. I serve God because I love him and want to serve Him even if things don't always make sense. " For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways" declares the Lord. " As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. I want to conclude with words of a song played over and over and over again. I had it around me all the time to give me strength.
Healer lyrics - Hillsongs
You hold my every moment. You calm my
raging seas. You walk with me through fire. And heal all my disease. I trust in
You. I believe You're my Healer. I believe You are all I need. I believe You're
my Portion. I believe You're more than enough for me. Jesus You're all I need.
Nothing is impossible for You. You hold my world in Your hands.
This song is what I am doing currently to
hold onto in my life:
While
I'm Waiting - John
Waller lyrics
I'm waiting. I'm waiting on You, Lord and I am hopeful.
I'm waiting on You, Lord though it is painful but patiently, I will wait
I will move ahead, bold and confident. Taking every step in obedience, while
I'm waiting, I will serve You. While I'm waiting, I will worship. While I'm
waiting, I will not faint; I'll be running the race. Even while I wait I'm
waiting -I'm waiting on You, Lord And I am peaceful, though it's not easy but
faithfully, I will wait.
I will serve You while I'm waiting. I will worship while
I'm waiting. I will serve You while I'm waiting. I will worship while I'm
waiting. I will serve you while I'm waiting. I will worship while I'm waiting
on You, Lord.
Eph 6:13 Therefore put on every piece
of God's armour so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil.
Then after the battle you will still be standing firm.
Sarah's Project Courage
I've met Sarah Kumar when she miraculously ended up as my room mate in London. Her maturity was beyond her age. I journeyed with her while she embraced being away from her husband - in a big city with many challenges. She chose courage and God's leading above her own feelings - even if it didn't seem conventional to some. Her story inspired me, because she made choices out of freedom. She is bond servant of Christ, and not enslaved to the culture of our time.
Her story
Splash! You open your eyes and all around, you see WATER....lots of water, it tastes salty, and your mouth suddenly feels bone dry....You realise that you must be in the middle of the ocean! You try to get your bearings whilst walking water...keep your head up...keep breathing. Yes there are some islands nearby, SMASH! A wave hits your face on, you fall backwards, spinning in the current....trying desperately to find the sky....new air!! You see light blue and swim like crazy! Air deep rich air...You try to empty your mouth and nose of the salt water that has attacked your senses and Breath...you refocus and realise that actually there are a few islands surrounding you...They all look pretty much the same some have a few more palm trees and others are more of a daze... to far maybe....Which way do you swim? Which island holds civilisation? Which has food and drinkable water till rescue comes? Which island provides the most protection from the sun? smash! Another wave strikes spinning you around once more at least this time you made note of which way is up! Strength....you dig deep and find strength to pull yourself to the surface once more....You know you can't stay here much longer the current is getting stronger and a rip tide could carry you away from land all together....but which way!!! Which island? If this feeling sounds familiar, this confusion and lost sensation has become your every waking minute, you're not alone! At some point in all our lives there will come a time when you feel like your floating in an abyss not really going anywhere....You can see the targets (some set by us, some by those we love, others set by society...) they might be clear or blurry....But you know they are there....But which way? Should I even bother, perhaps rescue will come before I drown? Or go insane? I have learnt the only thing to do in this situation is to call out to the only one who does and always has known the way...the right island...It is He who walks on the water and reaches us out of the depths....It is He, who, directs our every step as we walk together on the water....every miraculously step leading us to the island he always had in mind....and as that island becomes closer you see that it is perfect... That He is alone God.
I live in an Industrial town in England, I have lived and breathed locally. All my education, primary, secondary, college and University had all been within a 30 minute drive. My life investments were all local, in the of youth work done in my Fathers church (yes I am a PK-Pastor's Kid), I married a local guy at a young age (who is a fresh blessing every day), he had local interests studying and working. My family and friends were all close at hand. Then from nowhere when I completed my degree, I felt God's call to go to London! Yes London! I didn't know why and how it would work...So I had a look around online at further education in the London area and a course at Roehampton University jumped on the screen....Why? I don't know. I was/am married; I had options to work in the Church as a Youth worker, become a freelance dancer....the sky was the limit, I had completed my degree....but God had His plans in hand...I prayed with my husband, I prayed with my family, with my Church, they all felt that I should go! I applied to do the Masters Course in Dance Studies....They accepted me, after an interview...So the wheels were set in motion but how....How were we (me and my husband) going to find the finance for me to live in London, and how were we going to cope living apart after being married for 4 years.
God is a miracle WORKER, He provided the finance for my Masters and at the last moment a home in London with some beautiful Christian Women who made my time in London a treasure. But most of all God walked every step on that ocean of time between the beginning of my time in London, to the Island of returning home to being with my ever faithful and loving husband. No we don't always know where God is taking us, yes it angers and frustrates us not knowing....But if we just hold out our hand in the midst of that crashing ocean God will never fail to hold your hand, rescue you from the waves and walk each step to your island....
